If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.”

Dean Martin

When someone has a bad day like that on the golf course, you say. “Joe, you look good, you look fantastic. I like your shoes, I like your pants, I like your…well, the hat’s okay. I mean you need to keep it light. Instead, they say, Greg what’s next? Suicide? Alcoholism? Drugs?

-Bill Murray on the media’s bludgeoning of Greg Norman after his 1996 Masters loss

Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots -- but you have to play the ball where it lies.”

- Bobby Jones.

"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is."

– Horace G. Hutchinson

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."

-Jack Lemon

Favorites from Scottish Caddies:

Do you think I can get there with a five-iron?

Eventually, but you might want to pack a lunch!

What’s the best club to use here?

“That depends, sir. What game are you playing?”

You must be the worst caddie in Scotland!

“That would be too much of a coincidence, Sir”

“The only straight about your game is the walk to the 19th hole!”

How do you like my swing?

“I’ve seen worse sir, but it involved a shovel.”

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.”

-Dean Martin

When someone has a bad day like that on the golf course, you say. “Joe, you look good, you look fantastic. I like your shoes, I like your pants, I like your…well, the hat’s okay. I mean you need to keep it light. Instead, they say, Greg what’s next? Suicide? Alcoholism? Drugs?

-Bill Murray on the media’s bludgeoning of Greg Norman after his 1996 Masters loss

Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots -- but you have to play the ball where it lies.”

- Bobby Jones

"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is."

– Horace G. Hutchinson

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."

Jack Lemon

Favorites from Scottish Caddies:

Do you think I can get there with a five-iron?

Eventually, but you might want to pack a lunch!

What’s the best club to use here?

“That depends, sir. What game are you playing?”

You must be the worst caddie in Scotland!

“That would be too much of a coincidence, Sir”

“The only straight about your game is the walk to the 19th hole!”

How do you like my swing?

“I’ve seen worse sir, but it involved a shovel.”

"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."

--Dean Martin

"Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course--the space between your ears."

--Bobby Jones

"Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do."

--Bruce Crampton

“Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.”

--Arnold Palmer

“I have a tip that can take five strokes off of anyone’s game: it’s called an eraser.”

--Arnold Palmer

“If you think it is difficult to meet new people, try picking-up the wrong golf ball.”

--Jack Lemon